As presenters, we all want to be memorable. Memorable for being outstanding, not for doing a far-from-excellent job. In this article, highlight notes and observations I have made about the qualities of the memorable presenters I have heard over the years.

Memorable presenters have their own, unique style. They never try to be someone they aren’t. They are comfortable with themselves and within themselves.

Memorable presenters have sincere passion and enthusiasm for their topic(s). It is obvious when a speaker, even a competent one with all of the skills, is presenting a topic that he or she doesn’t care that much about.

Memorable presenters open and close with panache. Their openings grab your attention and ears immediately and their closings make you want to change your life or habits or take a risk the minute you leave the room.

Memorable presenters tell stories that embrace, enthrall, enchant and stay with you for days and weeks after the presentation. They have studied this art form and have well rehearsed stories that they have told hundreds of times to friends and family.

Memorable presenters share “knock your socks off” content. It is cutting edge, innovative, new, different and moving. Yes, it moves us to action!

Memorable presenters have a superb sense of time and timing. They are always on time. They don’t use up more time than they have been given. They also know how to pace and to pause at just the right moment.

Memorable presenters are in control. They control what is going on during the presentation. If there is a heckler or someone who is asking so many questions the presentation could get off track, they know how to handle the situation in a kind, yet firm, way.

Memorable presenters can also cope with the unexpected. I have witnessed the best when all the lights go out, when someone in the audience becomes ill, or when there is an overabundance of noise and activity. Many have humorous lines for these interruptions.

Memorable presenters do not give book reports. They know their subjects inside and out. Most of them have already lived through the risks, failures and successes, so are speaking first hand from true experience.

Memorable presenters don’t depend upon PowerPoint for their presentations. I am not suggesting that we never use this fine tool. I am just against becoming so enamored by all the bells and whistles that we let it take over our presentation.

Memorable presenters “walk their talk.” They are the same sincere person when you meet them off-stage as when they were on the platform.

Memorable presenters handle the Question & Answer portion of the presentation with knowledge, fairness, honesty and clarity. They will admit when they don’t know the answer to a question. They promise to find it and get back to you — and they do!

Memorable presenters have confidence and self-esteem, but are not arrogant, egotistical, or focused on themselves. They are there for us.

Memorable presenters bond with the listeners. They look us in the eye, they involve us, they answer our questions and they establish rapport with all of us.

They are our friends! If you can present so that your audience feels you are their friend, then I guarantee that you will be a memorable presenter!

An employee negotiating his/her salary may often feel a complete lack of bargaining power. If the employee lacks alternative jobs, and thus cannot make a credible threat to quit or take another job, it is easy to feel that the offer made by the employer is a take it or leave it offer which the employee cannot influence at all.

The employee or job seeker can however take advantage of the laws of human nature to increase his/her leverage when negotiating the salary. One of these laws says that every human being has an interest in being recognized as a worthy member of society. The only chance to be recognized as such a member is to show that one is willing to comply with the basic norms of society. Not to comply with these basic norms is to put oneself outside society, a condition that is unbearable to most people.

The most fundamental norm of society is the norm of reciprocity. According to Wikipedia, the norm of reciprocity is “the social expectation that people will respond to each other in kind — returning benefits for benefits, and responding with either indifference or hostility to harm.”

The power of this norm can be felt in most bargaining situations. Assume a buyer and a seller are haggling over the price of a car. The seller starts out with a bid at $24,000. The buyer finds this offer unacceptable and makes a counter bid at $15,000. Now, the seller lowers his bid to $20,000, i.e. he makes a concession. In this case, the buyer will most often feel inclined to increase his bid, maybe to $17,000. The reason why the buyer will feel this inclination is because of the presence of the norm of reciprocity. This norm now demands that the buyer responds to the seller’s concession with another concession.

The norm of reciprocity is so powerful that it can be taken advantage of in almost any bargaining situation, even by a party that otherwise completely lacks leverage. This norm is a most powerful ally to the employee or job seeker negotiating his salary – if correctly appealed to.

The norm of reciprocity will only work if it is very clear that the employee makes a concession or gives something away to the employer. This can be made in several ways. If, for example, the employer has worked over time for months without any compensation, he can say “I really do like this work. That is the reason why I have spent hours and hours of overtime here. I think it is only fair that I get some kind of compensation for my efforts for this company.” Another way is to start out the salary negotiation by making a high but reasoned salary claim, from which a concession can be made in the next round.

With the norm of reciprocity in his toolbox, the employee or job seeker negotiating his salary will have dramatically increased his leverage.

When you think about it, life is a series of negotiations. The American Heritage Dictionary defines negotiate as conferring with another or others in order to come to terms or reach an agreement. You negotiate with others far more often than you may realize–negotiations that include interactions with family and friends, getting the best deal on a consumer purchase, and a wide variety of business activities.

Though effective negotiating does come more easily to some than others, it’s a skill that anyone can learn and everyone should. Though the consumer culture in the United States doesn’t leave much room for negotiation–you’re not, for example, likely to be able to dicker over price in a major department store–there are still plenty of opportunities for negotiating. The clerk at Bloomingdale’s might not have the authority to give you a discount, but the owner of a small store certainly could. And if you’re in business, you’ll find yourself negotiating on a wide range of issues on a daily basis, from prices and terms with vendors to salary and benefit packages with employees.

Fundamentals of negotiating

There are three fundamental components of negotiating: listening, obtaining information, and overcoming objections, and they occur simultaneously. To be a good negotiator, you don’t need to be pushy or overbearing, you don’t need to be the loudest or most forceful speaker, and most importantly, you don’t need to be offensive. Successful negotiations come from understanding these three components and using them in a way that results in a win-win transaction.

Good listeners place as much or more emphasis on what others are saying than on what they themselves are saying or planning to say. You can develop your own listening skills by changing your attitude from one that is self-centered to one that focuses on the other person. When you are truly focused on what the person you are negotiating with has to say, the information gathering process is enhanced. And that brings us to the second component of negotiating: obtaining information.

In order to propose an acceptable agreement, you need to understand what both parties need. You already know, of course, what will work for you; asking good questions and then listening carefully to the answers is a very direct and quite effective way to find out what will work for the other person.

Finally, as you negotiate, you will have to overcome objections. Many people fear objections, but a good negotiator welcomes them. Why? Because what is often perceived as an obstacle is really just a request for more information. When people seek more information, it usually means they are looking for reasons or ways to make the deal work.

Objections typically come in the form of questions but may be statements. If possible, find out what’s behind the objection before you respond to it. You may discover that it’s not really an objection at all.

Good negotiators are not adversarial or challenging. They listen, gather data, and address concerns, then offer a proposal that will work for all parties. Develop and refine your negotiating skills and you’ll find that every aspect of your life will become much smoother and more rewarding.