When you think about it, life is a series of negotiations. The American Heritage Dictionary defines negotiate as conferring with another or others in order to come to terms or reach an agreement. You negotiate with others far more often than you may realize–negotiations that include interactions with family and friends, getting the best deal on a consumer purchase, and a wide variety of business activities.

Though effective negotiating does come more easily to some than others, it’s a skill that anyone can learn and everyone should. Though the consumer culture in the United States doesn’t leave much room for negotiation–you’re not, for example, likely to be able to dicker over price in a major department store–there are still plenty of opportunities for negotiating. The clerk at Bloomingdale’s might not have the authority to give you a discount, but the owner of a small store certainly could. And if you’re in business, you’ll find yourself negotiating on a wide range of issues on a daily basis, from prices and terms with vendors to salary and benefit packages with employees.

Fundamentals of negotiating

There are three fundamental components of negotiating: listening, obtaining information, and overcoming objections, and they occur simultaneously. To be a good negotiator, you don’t need to be pushy or overbearing, you don’t need to be the loudest or most forceful speaker, and most importantly, you don’t need to be offensive. Successful negotiations come from understanding these three components and using them in a way that results in a win-win transaction.

Good listeners place as much or more emphasis on what others are saying than on what they themselves are saying or planning to say. You can develop your own listening skills by changing your attitude from one that is self-centered to one that focuses on the other person. When you are truly focused on what the person you are negotiating with has to say, the information gathering process is enhanced. And that brings us to the second component of negotiating: obtaining information.

In order to propose an acceptable agreement, you need to understand what both parties need. You already know, of course, what will work for you; asking good questions and then listening carefully to the answers is a very direct and quite effective way to find out what will work for the other person.

Finally, as you negotiate, you will have to overcome objections. Many people fear objections, but a good negotiator welcomes them. Why? Because what is often perceived as an obstacle is really just a request for more information. When people seek more information, it usually means they are looking for reasons or ways to make the deal work.

Objections typically come in the form of questions but may be statements. If possible, find out what’s behind the objection before you respond to it. You may discover that it’s not really an objection at all.

Good negotiators are not adversarial or challenging. They listen, gather data, and address concerns, then offer a proposal that will work for all parties. Develop and refine your negotiating skills and you’ll find that every aspect of your life will become much smoother and more rewarding.

I spent many years in corporate life sitting through both presentations and meetings. I’ve also run a lot of courses on how to deliver effective presentations and how to organise and run successful meetings. One thing I’ve learned is that presentations and meetings tend to have a lot in common – and not in a good way.

1. They’re often organised without any clear purpose or outcome in mind.
2. They usually consist of one person passing on information to other people who have little interest in it.
3. They usually take place because someone in authority decides they should happen, not because the people involved want or need them.
4. The people who have to attend spend most of their time wishing they were somewhere else.
5. Often, even the person delivering the presentation or chairing the meeting also wishes he or she didn’t have to do it but they had no choice in the matter.
6. They nearly always go on longer than expected because no-one really knows how to bring them to an end.
7. People are often expected to deliver presentations or chair meetings as part of their job but get no specific training in how to do it properly.
8. There is technology available to help but most people have no idea how to use it effectively.
9. Organisations develop a “culture” (which is a fancy name for “habit”) of how to run meetings or presentations and people copy what they see everyone else doing, which perpetuates the bad practice.

A cynical view? Possibly. Accurate? In my experience, definitely!

It amazes me how many organisations still allow poorly organised or badly thought-out meetings and presentations to take place, soaking up hours of people’s valuable time and costing huge amounts in terms of staff costs. They would see a great return on investment if they questioned the way they do things and just gave people some basic training to help them improve the situation.

When you work as a commercial real estate agent in this market, most of the listings that you chase will be the subject of a presentation and sales pitch from a number of real estate agents.

Many property owners feel that they have to test the market and get comparisons from other agencies before they make a decision on just who they will list their property with. Maybe the idea has merit however many sellers and property owners can be influenced by all the wrong reasons and facts.

The problems that stem from the seller approaching a number of agencies can usually be summarised as follows:

1. Some agencies will be trying to sign the listing by offering discounted or heavily reduced commissions.
2. Some agencies will reduce the marketing costs on the listing or even pay the marketing costs themselves.
3. The associated fees for the marketing of the property can be absorbed by the selected agency.
4. Some agencies will claim that they have qualified buyers on their books now just waiting to inspect and purchase that particular property.
5. The agent offers to take the listing on an open list basis with no exclusivity.
6. The agent takes on the listing at the client’s price that is inflated well above market.
7. The agent offers the client a method of sale that the client is comfortable with however that method does not reflect the best strategy of sale in the current market conditions.

The realities of these offerings and discounts are that they substantially reduce the interest of the listing agent in the true marketing of the property. They can also hinder the sale and marketing process.

These points above are the most common hurdles that you will come across in the sales presentation and pitch process. Any property owner that chooses an agent based on any or all of these facts should not be taken seriously in their efforts to list and sell their property. This property market is fickle, and needs the right approach. The sellers must follow the rules in and marketing of their property; to do otherwise will create a stale listing and waste everyone’s time.

The Real Focus of Agents

Most good real estate agents will only spend their time on the listings that they have exclusive control, and where they can see the most opportunity or the most commission for the amount of effort that they apply.

So if you are coming across these factors in your local property market, the strategy is to practice your presentations to counter propose and discard these issues; they have any little relevancy to the results that a client wants in this market. The property owner and seller will listen to your offer and strategies providing you have the right argument supported by sound logic.

The listing of property is not a debate and should be built around the best price, the best way to attract enquiry, and the best marketing program. Working with a property owner through these three factors will usually allow you to discard the discounts and offerings of other agencies.

No client wants their property to be an experiment with time, price, or enquiry. That is their Achilles Heel that can be used as a lever in you attracting the listing in the best way possible.