Most people are too concerned about what others think about them. Most guys tend to be held back by “some labels” attached to them by others around them. Often these “labels” stick on us because we dislike change or fail to realize we can change the way people look at us.
For example:
(1) “Shy guys” are shy because they are afraid of breaking their “nice boy” image
(2) “Boring guys” never flirt because they are afraid of being seen as “not serious” in a woman’s eyes.
Just like how you judge other people based on what you see, other people also judge you by what they see or hear.
For example:
(1) If you don’t look at women in the eyes, they are going to think of you having low self-esteem.
(2) If you always appear happy, people are going to think you are a warm and happy person.
(3) If you present yourself as a guy who is scared off women, women will think you as a guy who is scared off women.
You Teach People How To Treat You
If women always treat you like crap, it is because you let them.
If women always come to you when they need you and ignore you when they don’t, it is because you let them.
As you can see, these “label” that society or people around us attach on us can become the biggest obstacles in our lives. This is why you must be careful not to be defined by other people’s vision of you. The world will always be trying to assign you with various roles or “labels” in your life. As soon as you accept such a role, you will be stuck. Your power and personality will be limited to the confines of the role. As a nice guy, you will always have to be “nice” to women because you fear that if you stop, women will start seeing you as a jerk.
We Should Be Responsible for Our Own Identity
Define your own self-image. Create more than one. Don’t just become the teacher or accountant your mum has told you to become. Don’t keep acting like the guy, people “know” you about. Keep working on yourself to become the person you would want to become.
Here are 9 tips to build the identity and image that you want others to look upon you as:
(1) Realize that what seems to make sense 10 years ago may not make sense now. For example, even though it was wrong for you to talk to strangers and think about women you were 10, this doesn’t mean it is wrong for you to do so now.
(2) Your present situation is the result of your past actions. Whatever you do now will have a big impact on how your life will be in 5 months or 5 years later. If you work on your social skills now, you will be more sociable in 5 months from now.
(3) Take up a few new hobbies and learn a few new skills.
(4) Try things that you normally would never try. Be adventurous – it will expand your self-image quickly.
(5) A good way to break out of your past is by giving yourself a physical makeover. This “new look” will determine how you want yourself to be looked upon by the world.
(6) Make new friends who have the qualities you desire to have for yourself. Surround yourself with people who will improve your identity or self-image. If you are introvert with no social life, than stop “killing your time” with online friends. Hang out with people who have active social lives.
(7) Chase after your dreams and ambitions. Go after the things you really want in life.
(8) Redefine your definition of “being yourself”. Most people are not really “being themselves” when they say they are. All they are doing is letting others control their lives and trying to “live up” to other people’s expectations.
(9) Walk, talk and act as those successful people do (your idols). Study the things they do, do the things they do. You will become as successful as they are.
So, from now on, take charge of your own life and be the person, in how you want others to see you!