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In past negotiation lessons, I’ve highlighted strategies and tactics that you can use when negotiating. I’ve discussed the value of being able to read and interpret body language (nonverbal signals). I’ve elaborated on the virtues of being mindfully astute when it comes to deciphering nuances that occur when negotiating. The one thing I haven’t touched on in any great length, in any lessons, is the value ‘hope’ plays when negotiating.

I don’t wish to sound whimsical nor capricious, but there’s something to be said about faith, belief, and ‘hope’, when you negotiate. Of course, you still have to prepare for any negotiation by doing your due diligence when it comes to gathering background information on the other negotiator, creating a plan for the negotiation (your road map), and determining what you’ll do if the negotiation doesn’t go the way you want. Nevertheless, you can add an additional dimension to the negotiation by having faith in your abilities and giving consideration to the role ‘hope’ will play.

Let me state, I’m not a huge fan of the law of attraction, but there are ‘things’ that occur in the universe that none of us are truly aware. That being the case, might ‘hope’ really be a viable resource that you can use to enhance a negotiation? There will be setbacks and heartbreaks when you negotiate. Things won’t always go the way you planned, but if you can keep yourself from feeling beaten, downtrodden, and discouraged, you’ll keep ‘hope’ alive.

Have you ever thought that something you wanted very badly would never come to pass? Then, when it didn’t, your first thought was, I knew it wouldn’t happen. Think for a moment. In the instant you thought about a negative experience, it occurred. Maybe part of its occurrence came to fruition,partly due to the thought process you manifested. I’m not suggesting you can will something into existence nor will it away, but if you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right! The direction in which you think, will be the direction in which you’ll move.

When you negotiate, instead of being pessimistic, try to be optimistic. Allow ‘hope’ to replace doubt. Allow ‘hope’ to replace fear. Let not your imagination be your downfall, due to your lack of belief, faith, or conviction that you have about your negotiation position and the outcome you seek.

The next time you’re in a tough negotiation situation and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to acquire the outcome for which you search, close your eyes, while at the negotiation table, and quietly start thinking or chanting out loud, ‘I have ‘hope!’ By doing so, you will enhance the chance that the negotiation will turn out to be more positive for all involved. This may not work, but if your chant is heard by the other negotiator, believe me, it will get his attention. Upon seeing and hearing you, he may give consideration to helping you achieve what you need and want from the negotiation.

Even if using ‘hope’ in your negotiation doesn’t bear fruit, it won’t leave you bare. You will have discovered another tool that will cause pause in a negotiation. During that pause, the negotiation can be reshaped, revamped, and redirected. Done right, with the proper timing, you’ll throw the other negotiator off his game. At that time you’ll have a momentary advantage. Use ‘hope’ wisely and you just might shift the power of the negotiation to your advantage; after all, who knows? With ‘hope’ the unimaginable may become reality … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Lessons are …

· When you’re handed a plate that’s broken into a million pieces and all you have is a single rubber band to put it back together, what else can you do except ‘hope’. When negotiating, don’t discount the value of ‘hope’.

· While negotiating, pay close attention to the dynamics that are occurring. If the other negotiator is faith based, or one that can be easily mollified, you can use flowery language such as, ‘I ‘hope’ we can achieve the outcome we’re seeking.’ This type of negotiator will be more impressed by such language and easier to assuage.

· It’s been said that “Chance favors the prepared mind.” When your negotiation plans fail to bring forth the outcome you seek, or it’s not going in the direction in which you’d like, use ‘hope’ and always try to keep ‘hope’ alive.

Many professionals dread the unthinkable moment in presentations: an angry or aggressive attack. Don’t you wish you had a magic remedy to calm people down — without risking embarrassment and public humiliation?

In most corporate and professional settings, direct attacks are not commonplace. Instead, all kinds of more subtle interactions are the norm. However, from time to time, you are likely to encounter strong emotions, anger, and resentment. All the ‘yucky stuff’ most presenters strive to avoid.

What can you do if the dreaded thing happens?

Apply proven presentation techniques to be persuasive, calm people down, and avoid embarrassment.

Let me ask you a simple question: what do you dread most?

•  Presenting an important project to your boss or supervisor
•  Discussing a critical project with a bully
•  Saying the wrong thing – and not knowing how to recover
•  Putting your foot in your mouth
•  Bearing the brunt of ridicule and abuse from co-workers

These are just a few of the scary moments in presenting. But if you are speaking in public, at one time or another, some of these uncomfortable moments will appear. No doubt, from time to time, your ideas and recommendations will be challenged.

Instead of slinking into the corner and giving up before you begin, what can you do? Get more skillful at handling these difficult situations. There’s good news here. These are interpersonal presentation skills that can be learned.

You don’t have to be born with the gene of communication. You don’t have to be super-human and know how to solve every problem before it shows up. Instead, you can focus on building your skills. In a short time, you can build the right set of skills, feel more confident, and be more effective in front of any group.

Use these 3 tips to win respect and get your ideas heard.

Tip 1: Find Common Ground

First, find common ground. Look for the connection in values, direction, or process that you share with your audience. Hint: there is always common ground. If it’s not obvious at first, keep looking.

Tip 2: Focus On The Big Picture

Resist the urge to immediately jump into all the details of your specific proposal or recommendation. Stick to the big picture. Give the overview — first.

Tip 3: Listen With Total Focus

Listen to what is said with complete focus. Instead of thinking about what you are going to say next, listen. By listening intently you show that you care about what people think.

You may not agree with the content of what they are saying. However, by listening with full attention, you show respect. This often calms people down.

Knowing how to calm people down requires practice, skill and the right tools. You can use body language, words, gestures, and visual sketches to create a calmer environment and encourage open communication.

If you dread conflict, or have ever “lost it” in a professional presentation, this is an important area to develop your skills.

Learn how to calm people down, without embarrassing yourself or them. Knowing what to do in different settings gives you confidence and skill to be more effective in presenting.